eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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