Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.

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(339): View more from Massachusetts

just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.

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(519): View more from Ontario

We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.

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(773): View more from Illinois

At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.

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(623): View more from Arizona

You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"

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(831): View more from California

Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance

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(475): View more from Connecticut

So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for

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(716): View more from New York

I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship

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