he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
