No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We talked him into tasing himself.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Randomize