You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
