It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
