Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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