your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
