one might say we're banned from that church
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize