He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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