Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
