She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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