ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Small penises have feelings too.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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