In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Randomize
