Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
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