The brown eye won't let me do that either.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
