Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize