She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
