omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dignity is for republicans.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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