Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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