she was so not down for the gang bang
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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