Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
