You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
