It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
