My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize