After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
