i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
