God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
