Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize