i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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