We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
