i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Randomize
