I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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