sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
