Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
a search helicopter?!
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
