The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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