I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
