it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
