Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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