I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
