Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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