Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
