Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
