At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
