I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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