I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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