I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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