im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
