I want to stick my p in your. b.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
