Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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