his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
