Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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