We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
