I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
