Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
