I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize