So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
